One Nice Guy Coming Up

I am fed up with men, and quite frankly, I'm actually a bit fed up with myself. I love men, and have no intentions of giving up on them, but they really wear out my brain. Whilst there are lots of good ones out there, they don't seem to be knocking on mine or any of my friend’s doors. Except for on Saturday night..........

On Saturday, I went on a date with what was probably one of the nicest guys ever. He was kind, sweet, quiet, shy, unassertive, reliable, steady, and a little bit boring, but just very...........nice. He wants to settle down, doesn't go out much and is quite tight with his family. He has a steady pensionable job, owns his own home (even though it's in the arse of nowhere miles outside London!), and seems so.....nice.

On paper, he sounds like a dream. In reality, he was just too nice. Not too nice for me, before anybody misunderstands me. I want a nice guy, but I need one that is going to stimulate and challenge me mentally, emotionally, and physically, and I think that this guy is almost too nice to stimulate himself! I would literally run rings around this guy!

I've told some of my friends, and most of them understand where I am coming from. They think it's great that he's nice, but we're like chalk and cheese, and it would be difficult for someone with my personality to forge a relationship with someone like that.

I'm loud, cheeky, very sociable, and I'm not exactly shy about coming forward. I actually had to ask this guy to repeat something he said FIVE times, because he spoke so quietly, and unassertively. A lot of the conversation consisted of 'I'm sorry, what did you just say?'; 'Can you repeat that again?', and after a while I just said, 'Speak up'. And trust me, my hearing is just fine, and the music wasn't loud. Surely if someone asks you to keep repeating yourself, it makes sense to, oh I don't know, talk louder for instance!

To make things even worse, there were a few times in the evening, when I was sure that I had inadvertently offended him, and found myself checking to see if he was ok a lot. I come from a family of smart arses, and sometimes I forget that people don't sometimes get that type of humour.

The stand out example of this, is when he thought he'd left his mobile phone in the car, and went back to get it. I said that I'd wait for him, and didn't expect to see him return from the car park for ten minutes. So imagine my surprise when he returns in under two minutes looking sheepish. He then admitted that the phone was in his pocket, and I wisecracked that he shouldn't hurry to be a detective. He works as a policeman........

It was literally like I had given him a verbal slap in the face, and I succeeded in feeling like the biggest b*tch on earth! I must have apologised about 20 times, but I don't think he'll be forgetting that one in a hurry!

I did however end up feeling fed up with myself, because I looked at him shortly before I left to go home, and couldn't believe how nice he was and how I didn't fancy him. I really wanted to though, because it would be easier. After all, what am I trying to say? That I only want to go out with pricks that make me jump through hoops?

I was actually having an internal argument with myself trying to make myself fancy him, with the good angel saying, 'Stop being a b*tch, he's a lovely guy', and the bad angel saying, 'Be a b*tch and run like a muther. He can't handle you!' What the hell is wrong with me and many other women out there? Why don't we fancy nice guys?

We whinge about all men being worthless, and that there are no decent men, and then we spend an evening in a nice guys company, and we say he's too nice. I don't think that we actually know what we want. We can give you a big list of don’ts, but the do's are looking thin on the ground.

I don't fancy bad men. I like a man with a bit of edge, but I like the edge to be a mental thing. I want someone I can be friend and lover to, and it's like a meeting of the minds. I have been out with a guy, where I've called him every name under the sun, and he's been stupid enough to agree with what I am saying. That is a man with no edge, and quite frankly, no balls.

I know of men who live life a little bit too much on the edge for my liking. They can't commit, won't commit, cheat, lie, steal, beg and borrow. Some of the men think nothing of trying to get their women knocked up, but they still aren't sure about commitment! So I guess I should have considered myself lucky with Mr Nice Guy.

So it's back to the drawing board for me, and I really must have a think about the type of guy that I do want to be with, because it's quite clear that meeting a nice guy, that treats me well, isn't all it's cracked up to be.

I've also decided that I'm going to set him up with my friend, I just haven't quite figured out how I can slip it into a conversation. Maybe I should just let them meet accidentally on purpose........

Whilst she is quite outgoing, I think that her mothering, organisational character may lend itself to his 'nice' personality. She has more patience, and probably won't mind finishing off his sentences!

My friends and I are thinking about trying speed dating, which whilst I think it's a sad day when you have to pay to meet men at 26, I also think it may actually be money well spent. After all, I will get to understand the types of guy I go for, and what turns me on or off in the first few seconds. The lesson I will be taking with me though, is not to make any wisecracks about a mans job. It's like kicking a man in the nuts, and even I don't want to do that on a 3 minute date!