Bastard Syndrome
At this time of year there's the usual flu epidemic, and here in the UK we've got an epidemic of the 'ole mumps hitting the 16-24 age group. There is an illness however, that is more prevalent all year around - Bastard Syndrome. I don't know if it's a funny time of year or something, but right now I know an awful lot of women suffering from the syndrome.
This is when a woman persistently and willfully involves herself with a man who is not only completely self-centered but has little or no respect for her. The typical bastard is an inconsiderate mofo. He lives by the hard and fast rule of treat her mean and keep her keen and he's not changing his ways anytime soon. He plays mind games with the woman to ensure that she ends up so fucked up that she either stays with him because she's become stupified, or continues to seek out further bastards when the relationship is over because she no longer has a great sense of self-worth and has become a bastard junkie.
I beg the women I know and the ones I don't to get your Bastard Syndrome inoculation and immunise yourselves. For once I get to wrap myself in the glow of being single, safe in the knowledge that for now, I am safe. Fortunately I get to immunise myself on this blog every day and would like to think I can spot an asshole from fifty paces, or at least have the good sense to run the opposite direction if I get in a tangle.
I'm not into 'bad boys' myself. There is no attraction for me in a man that wants to hump me and dump me, or spread himself thin over me and multiple women. I don't need a man that looks in the mirror more than me, and I certainly don't need a man that wants to go forth and multiply and turn me into another lady on his child payment list. The role of 'babymama' is unappealing and I have no aspiration to have strained conversations with women who he claims that he doesn't know, but they say they're his girlfriends. I don't want to be way down in a list of a mans priorities and I don't want any man to think that he can get away with pulling any of his bastard stuff with me.
I guess this rules out a lot of guys, but I feel confident in the fact that there must be men out there that aspire to be more than these 'bad boys'. I may have to wait a while and my love life may not be that exciting, but somehow I think I'll take my chances.
Rant over.....
For all those who have been sweet enough to ask, I am feeling a bit better. I had a few iffy moments today but I think I may have overdone it on tea with milk, and when you throw in those horrible ovulating pains that besiege women every month, my tummy has not had the greatest of days.
Let myself down slightly today, when after speaking to a client about free calls on the net and hearing his suggestion of a 3-way conference call, I slightly over-excitedly said, 'Yes, let's have a 3-way!' Sometimes I could shoot myself!
This is when a woman persistently and willfully involves herself with a man who is not only completely self-centered but has little or no respect for her. The typical bastard is an inconsiderate mofo. He lives by the hard and fast rule of treat her mean and keep her keen and he's not changing his ways anytime soon. He plays mind games with the woman to ensure that she ends up so fucked up that she either stays with him because she's become stupified, or continues to seek out further bastards when the relationship is over because she no longer has a great sense of self-worth and has become a bastard junkie.
I beg the women I know and the ones I don't to get your Bastard Syndrome inoculation and immunise yourselves. For once I get to wrap myself in the glow of being single, safe in the knowledge that for now, I am safe. Fortunately I get to immunise myself on this blog every day and would like to think I can spot an asshole from fifty paces, or at least have the good sense to run the opposite direction if I get in a tangle.
I'm not into 'bad boys' myself. There is no attraction for me in a man that wants to hump me and dump me, or spread himself thin over me and multiple women. I don't need a man that looks in the mirror more than me, and I certainly don't need a man that wants to go forth and multiply and turn me into another lady on his child payment list. The role of 'babymama' is unappealing and I have no aspiration to have strained conversations with women who he claims that he doesn't know, but they say they're his girlfriends. I don't want to be way down in a list of a mans priorities and I don't want any man to think that he can get away with pulling any of his bastard stuff with me.
I guess this rules out a lot of guys, but I feel confident in the fact that there must be men out there that aspire to be more than these 'bad boys'. I may have to wait a while and my love life may not be that exciting, but somehow I think I'll take my chances.
Rant over.....
For all those who have been sweet enough to ask, I am feeling a bit better. I had a few iffy moments today but I think I may have overdone it on tea with milk, and when you throw in those horrible ovulating pains that besiege women every month, my tummy has not had the greatest of days.
Let myself down slightly today, when after speaking to a client about free calls on the net and hearing his suggestion of a 3-way conference call, I slightly over-excitedly said, 'Yes, let's have a 3-way!' Sometimes I could shoot myself!
23 Comments:
Alas, far too many women are fatally attracted to "bad guys", even if they try to persuade themselves they're not. As one datee once proudly proclaimed: "I don't do doormen or DJs any more!"
Which kinda ruins it for us nice guys. Even if we are no pushover.
Sing it sister! I am done with the bastards as well. I dated my last asshole August through November of 2004. I learned SO much from that experience that I should almost be thanking him instead of hating him. He cheated, lied, manipulated, free loaded, all of that stuff. BUT, because of that three months of hell, I have come a long way and will not tolerate things that I once brushed under the rug. I'd rather be single and old than involved with a disrespectful, lying, cheat who DOES NOT think I'm the best thing that happened to him. You hit the nail on the head with your new syndrome.
when you put it that way, it IS a relief to be single rather than have to deal with dastardly men. i haven't involved myself with too many such selfish mean but, frankly, i'm scared of getting desperate and taking that kind of bullsh*t from a guy... because that can be agonizing... as if a normal relationship wasn't really stressful because we overanalyze too much
Well, I'm just glad I'm not gay.
Although, if I was, I'd have better taste in clothes.
The whole 'had enough with bastards' thing is great news for nice guys like me. Unless I'm a bastard and I don't know it - in much the same way as people with hygiene issues don't seem to smell their own foetid stench.
You are dead right NML. A lot of people mistake being treated badly for excitement, prefer the drama, want what they can't have. Anyway, glad to see you dish it out to your half of the species too :)
Badly Dubbed Boy - Brilliant quote although with no disrespect to doormen and dj's, I never went for them. They always have had more ass than a toilet seat!
HDT - You are definitely a kindred spirit. Be strong. We both know we have been weak previously but no matter how much we want a bit of lovin, we both know that we can't compromise ourselves.
Wyn - NEVER EVER get desperate. Times are never that rough that you should be with someone who will completely wreck you. You have hit the nail on the head though - women are far too fond of analysing stuff.
TLP - Nice guys are good. The only type of nice guy I struggle to relate to are the ones that are unassertive and almost too nice.
Daniel - I hope this means that you no longer consider me to be the opposite of a mysoginist?
Very intersting post. I'm going along with the Lone Pen and hoping that I'm not afflicted with the syndrome and don't realize it. I am fortunate in that I have no reason to use the phrase "my baby's mama".
Just curious; why do you think other women (and men who date the female verion afflicted with the bastard syndrome) put up with this behavior and then later lament the loss?
As for me, sounds like I need to move to the UK. Tons of intelligent women looking for decent guys!!
Cinc - People lament their self-serving behavior because they can. Remember, women in particular have a habit of thinking that they can be the one to tame this particular bad boy, so they don't look at their behavior and choice of partner in the same way that we do. When the bad boy/girl isn't tamed they feel like the injured party because they don't understand why whatever wonderful things they did weren't enough to change the persons bad behavior. Glad to see you're commenting by the way :-)
Wow, lack of common sence in women is a MENTAL AILEMENT?!
And I'm pretty sure the "Bastard Syndrome" in men doesn't exist.
Quit trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, all you have is yourself to blame for your lack of common logic and sence between good and bad.
Keep us updated on the number of cats you currently have, as well as how many you're planning on getting in the future.
To The Lone Pen and cincysundevil:-
I think that you two are setting yourselves up for disappointment if you believe that the disillusionment with 'bad boys' translates into greater chances for you to succeed with women. I've read the article and the comments very carefully, and at no point did I notice any of the girlies here proclaim that they were so sick of dating arseholes that they were ready to pay attention to 'nice guys' instead. I did, however, read several times that they were so sick of bastards that they would rather be single. That's the only alternative, as far as they are concerned, waste their lives on men who maltreat them or be single for the rest of their days. Nice guys don't seem to get a look in, do they? And a bonus from their point of view is the nice guys get to remain single too. Misery loves company.
You really shouldn't expect women to have any consideration for you(what an 'oppressive' idea!)...after all, if they had any desire to seek companionship with decent, non-abusive sorts, they'd have been doing so from the time their hormones first started racing. The fact that they were dallying with 'bastards' in the first place tells you just how capable they are of judging character. Everyone looks like an unassertive pushover wimp compared to the string of bastards that they've been spreading for, and they haven't developed enough social sense to know better.
Let's face it, many of these girls have spent most of their lives building up baggage. And now they're going to be gracious enough to share that baggage with you. You, being a nice guy and a second class citizen, deserves nothing less, and nothing more. Aren't you grateful?
Women who fancy bulliea are evil Shut up with this tame the bad boy drivel, thjey want to make evil men win because they are evil. Mne and women who support bullies are evil . Thye support, reward, speka up for, and want abusers to win. They are evil just as men who support abuse are evil Don't give me any immoral indignation nonsense in repsonse. If you support abuse you're dangerous. www.netwebresearch.com.servicesview
"I guess this rules out a lot of guys, but I feel confident in the fact that there must be men out there that aspire to be more than these 'bad boys'. I may have to wait a while and my love life may not be that exciting, but somehow I think I'll take my chances."
Why would you love life not be that exciting, just because you had a kind, caring man, who loved you?
Of course!
You're terrified of intimacy (like 99% of women) and too scared that he might 'dump you', to actually go out with a man you LIKE!
Tough.
Perhaps your next article could explain why 99% of women never ask a man out, yet wonder why so many assholes are asking THEM out, and then they end up being beaten up by said assholes.
Could it be a case of 'beggars can't be choosers'?
How about you stupid women stop moaning about how 'all men are bastards', when they are obviously aren't? The ones who aren't bastards have a name: single.
Because YOU women can't stand men who don't treat you like dirt. YOU are the cause of this problem. YOU reward assholes by going out with them, trying to 'change' them, (trying to relive your shitty childhood with your asshole of a father, more like, and dreaming that one day he'll actually ' love' you. Well I've got news for you - your father is an emotionless idiot, who couldn't even love his own daughter, and until you face that fact, you'll spend the rest of your miserable life consorting with your own enemies.)
Are women really this stupid? It appears so.
Hello various anonymous people,
Thank you for your comments, which you are all more than entitled to make. I note that you're from a nice guy forum that talks about American skanks etc. I don't know if you've noticed, but nobody has ragged on you for having a forum which blatantly (for most members) is an oportunity for you to diss women (or skanks as you refer to them) The reason nobody is ragging on you is that the forum is your opinion, which you have a right to. People may or may not agree with it, but that's their perogative.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Censorship Rocks!
"Thank you for your comments, which you are all more than entitled to make. I note that you're from a nice guy forum that talks about American skanks etc. I don't know if you've noticed, but nobody has ragged on you for having a forum which blatantly (for most members) is an oportunity for you to diss women (or skanks as you refer to them) The reason nobody is ragging on you is that the forum is your opinion, which you have a right to. People may or may not agree with it, but that's their perogative."-----------------------------------
You're very right. I am from the site as well, but I'm not here to express the words of anger and rancor that so many of the Nice Guys understandably do because of their repeated hypocrasy, egotsism, etc.
The concern I have is that by promoting articles such as this. your basically giving the more mentally unstable females an "okay" to do whatever they want without fear of being held responsible for their own actions. Something that is quickly becoming a Pandemic issue with women.
If you want an honest view on what men think of women. Look it up. There are many websites about this(www.askmen.com is a good one) The 'nice guys' consist of about 70-80% of the male population. Yet they get a low low % of the women. It means they're obviously doing something wrong because women simply aren't attracted to them sexually. 8P
Us men do want initially want to please you(trust me when I say most young men do abound by the unwritten codes of chivalry). Unfortunately the way to please you and actually get women to please usually involves a personality change that makes us basicly stop caring about your needs.
It's a shame that this is the case but well when this is what the majority of women want then I guess it's only fair for us guys to try to mold ourselves into that image. 8P
Are you starting to get the idea that Nice Guys are more sick of you than you are of Bastards?
Say by about, oh I don't know, a thousandfold.
Before I start, I will say that you don't seem too bad of a person in my opinion, so don't feel too attacked by what I'm about to post; I just want to offer a relevant perspective from the 'other side.'
I'm 22-years-old. I reside in the South-West UK. Put simply; I'm a nice guy. I don't do or say nasty, hurtful things to people who haven't done anything to me, and do not rush immediately to do so to those that do. I like to put the feelings of others before my own, and care genuinely about others. But perhaps what I say should be put into some logical context: I want more than anything, ultimately, a girlfriend with whom to share love and good times; someone to shower with love and affection; someone to care for; someone to snuggle up to at the end of the day. While I won't pretend that looks don't come into the equation at all, I will say outright that I am proud to be unshallow, and see looks as being of only secondary importance; personality is by far the most important factor, when it comes to potential partners. While sex would be nice, it is something I'd be prepared to wait for in a relationship, and something which, ultimately, could never bring me as much happiness as love and affection. Surely all this is fairly admirable, for a 22-year-old guy? I'd say so. What's more: as would most women. Let's face it: women like nice guys; but not romantically. Ask any woman what she wants in a man (removing looks from the equation for a minute); what she'll say will be something along the lines of "Kind, caring, affectionate, romantic, honest, faithful and loving". Whenever I hear women describing their perfect partner (again, taking looks out of the equation), I think of me, because, in all honesty, I can say that I'd treat a girlfriend in the way in which women claim they want a partner to treat them. But what, then, happens when a woman's actually faced with the possibility of a relationship with such a guy? I'll tell you: she finds a reason not to become involved with whom. It happens all the time; women say they want this loving, caring guy, yet, when faced with whom, refuse totally to become romantically involved. Women will turn down a nice guy, only to soon after get into a relationship with a guy who (shock, shock, horror, horror) turns out to be a complete wanker, causing them much in the way of hurt; it's happened to me, it's happened to friends of mine and it's happened to guys I know of. So many women seem to end up getting hurt by relationships, yet never seem to learn by their mistakes; time and time and time again, women will reject a nice guy with whom they've established a warm friendship, in favour of some new dick on the block who provides them with excitement and a sense of mystery; regardless of how much of an arsehole he inevitably seems to be. To be nice to women is to be awarded with a one-way ticket to the dreaded 'Just friends' zone. Whenever I used to hear about women who had been mistreated by their boyfriends, I'd feel a great level of sympathy; but not-so any more. It's not that I like to hear about women getting cheated on, abused and beaten; only that it seems, to me, that, nine times out of ten, such women's careless choice of boyfriend made them their own worst enemies. Such women will repeatedly enter relationships with guys who practically stand out as thugs, before crying that "all men are bastards" to their girlfriends and nice male friends, alike, not once stopping to reflect on their own careless behaviour in rejecting genuinely nice guys in favour of such thugs. What can you do if a woman's seemingly hellbent on keeping all nice men she knows as "just friends", while, at the very least, rushing into relationships with guys whose motives and true nature certainly haven't been ascertained? Not a lot, I say. If women would rather risk hurt through involvement with thuggish, uncaring morons, than give a nice guy whose proved a great friend to her a chance (don't even get me started on the "I wouldn't want to risk the friendship" line....) to be something more to her, then I say they deserve no sympathy. It can't be nice to be hurt repeatedly by men; but then, it's not exactly a barrel-of-laughs to be a nice, caring guy, who's forever single and lonely, either.
Women can find themselves in relationships with total bastards too many times, yes, but I only wish that women, as the ones who do the choosing (as opposed to the men, who do the competing), would, rather than insisting that men w
are bastards, would admit that, instead, that the men women like most are bastards.
Any way, all the best, and any feedback welcome.
Anon, thank you for your feedback. I will be posting re this subject again. I happen to agree with a number of things that you say and you make a lot of very valid points, in a very polite manner. I do promise to visit the subject of nice guys soon. Apologies for belatedly acknowledging your comment.
Women LET themselves fall for bad boys because they cannot face the warning signs of unreasonable behaviour, and make excuses for them.
But the key to understanding why women act in this 'crazy' way goes back into their history. Mine was having a crazy mother and bullying family which taught me that the only way to keep the peace and please people was to bend over backwards to do what they wanted, on their terms, and so ignore my own needs. This creates low self-esteem and self worth which then filters into non-platonic relationships as an adult.
Took me a lot of work to understand this and see the signs, I had to give up booze to help me see what was what, and I am now happily more adept at recognising a tosser more quickly, and more importantly, have better personal standards to remove myself far from them.
Now I am much more interested in meeting a lovely human being; I know I have ignored many fabulous blokes in the past and for my past mistakes I can only grieve temporarily and make sure I do better next time.
Feel sorry for bastards - life is short and they are wasting their time in unfullfilling and game-ridden psycho interactions.
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