Caught Out
Remember when I went to a lock and key party recently and it was a bag of sh*te in terms of meeting men? I completely forgot that there was a TV crew there filming for GMTV . At first I was reluctant to be filmed but as I was wisecracking and maybe flirting away for the hell of it with the cameramen, I found myself saying that it was ok for them to film me.
I received a phonecall from a friend asking me why I had been to a lock and key party and not said anything. I was thinking that people must have nothing better to do than talk about my love life or lack of it (I quickly remembered that I keep a blog, which makes that thought a bit unfair), when she told me that she had seen me on Lorraine Kelly or something. Sweet baby Jesus and the Angels as Peter Kay would say. I must have been on crack when I had the made idea of allowing myself to be filmed.
I really hope that nobody that I know back in Dublin saw it because they'll think I'm a right saddo. Ah, screw 'em anyway. It's a cold, cruel world and you have to try out some funny sh*t these days just to meet a man.
Oh frigs sake! I just popped into the kitchen to see if the oven is heated for my Marks & Spencer meal for one and I've had the bloody top oven heating. (To be truthful, I'm not sure what the hell a top oven does except for that I'll be chewing the fingers off myself if the bloody oven doesn't heat up pronto) And before any smartarse asks why I'm not using the microwave it's because it's decided to break.
I had a really strange conversation with the lads and B at lunch about why women need to wipe from front to back. For all of those that don't know, it's unhygienic to mix bacteria from the front bottom with the back bottom as it can cause cystitis. Must admit that the lads looked horrified and I thoroughly enjoyed their discomfort.
We then got into discussion about people that cheat and someone actually thinks that kissing doesn't count. Jesus, next thing it will that as long as it was oral sex and not full sex, that it doesn't count! Someone else suggested that if you cheat with the same person more than once, only then it's cheating. I work with reprobates and of course, far too many men! All of this ridiculousness reminds me of that line from Eddie Murphy Raw , when he says, 'I f*ck her. I make love to you.' Oh dear........
I received a phonecall from a friend asking me why I had been to a lock and key party and not said anything. I was thinking that people must have nothing better to do than talk about my love life or lack of it (I quickly remembered that I keep a blog, which makes that thought a bit unfair), when she told me that she had seen me on Lorraine Kelly or something. Sweet baby Jesus and the Angels as Peter Kay would say. I must have been on crack when I had the made idea of allowing myself to be filmed.
I really hope that nobody that I know back in Dublin saw it because they'll think I'm a right saddo. Ah, screw 'em anyway. It's a cold, cruel world and you have to try out some funny sh*t these days just to meet a man.
Oh frigs sake! I just popped into the kitchen to see if the oven is heated for my Marks & Spencer meal for one and I've had the bloody top oven heating. (To be truthful, I'm not sure what the hell a top oven does except for that I'll be chewing the fingers off myself if the bloody oven doesn't heat up pronto) And before any smartarse asks why I'm not using the microwave it's because it's decided to break.
I had a really strange conversation with the lads and B at lunch about why women need to wipe from front to back. For all of those that don't know, it's unhygienic to mix bacteria from the front bottom with the back bottom as it can cause cystitis. Must admit that the lads looked horrified and I thoroughly enjoyed their discomfort.
We then got into discussion about people that cheat and someone actually thinks that kissing doesn't count. Jesus, next thing it will that as long as it was oral sex and not full sex, that it doesn't count! Someone else suggested that if you cheat with the same person more than once, only then it's cheating. I work with reprobates and of course, far too many men! All of this ridiculousness reminds me of that line from Eddie Murphy Raw , when he says, 'I f*ck her. I make love to you.' Oh dear........
2 Comments:
I have just discovered your blog !! Thoroughly enjoyed reading this post,especially regarding the proper way for ladies to wipe.... Indeed its a cold and cruel world out there, but there is always the flower of hope... Have a look at my blog in between your post...
Best regards
Kathleen form life on canvas
oh no, it must be terrible if people are snarky about you being there. but if you look like you were having fun - then they will have to bite their tongue because you were fabulous and had tv-time! :) i absolutely wouldn't accept a guy who believed that kissing isn't cheating. i get queasy if a guy fantasizes about someone else - but that's because my first bf accused me of cheating by talking to another guy behind his back....
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