Sh*t Happens
I was supposed to see The Contender this evening as I haven't seen him since a couple of days before I went away and he is away for a few days on a stag weekend until next Monday. I don't mind admitting that I was looking forward to seeing him but it's not happening. He's got to work late unexpectedly as he has a big meeting first thing tomorrow morning which has thwarted the plan. I swore to him that I wouldn't sulk or have a tantrum (I was being humorous!) and so far I haven't. I made a few wisecracks about being blown out...again, but he insists he hasn't blown me out, and to be honest I'm not upset. What would be the point?
This is all new territory for me, this whole slowly does it, gently-gently 'dating' thing and I guess it's safe to say that sh*t happens. I haven't done all of this mallarky for years because I've either known the guys I've gone out with for a while, or they've been so full on, even in the early days that I know exactly where I am because they are bleating on about being my boyfriend before I've even had the chance to decide if I want them to be my boyfriend in the first place.
I have been home for a couple of hours and I didn't give my lack of an evening with The Contender very much thought until I went to write this post. We laughed and joked for a while on the phone and he seems to be interested in me but, well, I'm not going to bust my proverbial nuts thinking about it all the bloody time because I'll drive myself crackers and it will achieve nothing. On top of this I've had enough insight into my thoughts and feelings on The Contender, the exes and relationships in general to realise that as long as I am happy and content in myself, the rest will follow.
I think I am joining a gym as I have decided that steroids or no steroids, it is time for me to get fit and tone up. I am still very tired and it's just crept up on me so I'll be departing for my bed again shortly. It doesn't help that I was practically hobbling by the end of the day courtesy of my sexy new heels from shopping on Friday. Maybe it's best that I didn't see The Contender anyway. My bed is beckoning.......
This is all new territory for me, this whole slowly does it, gently-gently 'dating' thing and I guess it's safe to say that sh*t happens. I haven't done all of this mallarky for years because I've either known the guys I've gone out with for a while, or they've been so full on, even in the early days that I know exactly where I am because they are bleating on about being my boyfriend before I've even had the chance to decide if I want them to be my boyfriend in the first place.
I have been home for a couple of hours and I didn't give my lack of an evening with The Contender very much thought until I went to write this post. We laughed and joked for a while on the phone and he seems to be interested in me but, well, I'm not going to bust my proverbial nuts thinking about it all the bloody time because I'll drive myself crackers and it will achieve nothing. On top of this I've had enough insight into my thoughts and feelings on The Contender, the exes and relationships in general to realise that as long as I am happy and content in myself, the rest will follow.
I think I am joining a gym as I have decided that steroids or no steroids, it is time for me to get fit and tone up. I am still very tired and it's just crept up on me so I'll be departing for my bed again shortly. It doesn't help that I was practically hobbling by the end of the day courtesy of my sexy new heels from shopping on Friday. Maybe it's best that I didn't see The Contender anyway. My bed is beckoning.......
9 Comments:
I've been exactly where you are so many times. In hindsight, the only thing to do is let time take over. Everything works itself out in the end, and if he's meant to be, he's meant to be. If not? Of he'll go and you'll be fine. Hopefully he really is busy and can't wait to see you - I know life gets in the way of our pleasure and enjoyment sometimes, but don't drive yourself batty. You're a smart gal - you'll do what's right.
The man's getting married you home wrecker! (I've always wanted to say that.)
i'm not totally sure because i've only had relationships back home (as student, immaturely living at home) but at a certain point, perhaps we really grow up and realize the compartment that relationships should belong to and not let it overflow to the rest of our lives, affecting work and stuff. *ideally.* no one would want to have a wrecked relationship and the second blow that the rest of their life was affected, too. it's cool that you're both chill but learning about each other. =) maybe when we're younger, we think that the world will end soon so you gotta hook up. and while it's true that people can just drop out of your life like that (those were not worth it in the least anyways), people will stick around. =)
Bravo Girlfriend! You are handling this all so gracefully. It's always a good thing when we can pamper ourselves, maintain our lives and continue to be people in our own right and not just "the other half of the equation". The easy does it thing isn't that hard now, is it? It's not for me when I think about all the sacrifices I made "for" The Cowboy and what I ended up getting for all of it. I'd rather go slow and steady than risk losing myself again. I'm really not sure I want to do the "now you're gone, what did I do before you were in my life" thing again.... you with me?
Bet you looked marvy in the new shoes! Yay on the gym... you'll feel great, look great and will attract great people. (Ok, so truthfully the wierdos will never go away, but maybe more great people so the wierdos don't seem like such a large herd....)
Have you thought about trying yoga? There's something about yoga girls that makes them surprisingly strong and lean. And it helps you think clearly too apparently! Not that you'll need that latter part anymore, since it seems you've learned to take everything in stride pretty well.
Oh, and speaking of sh*t... there's something you're on the hook for... :)
The whole thing about having something arranged and then being "blown out" mystifies me. I mean, unexpected stuff happens - you have to work late (or get up the next day to go early), a family event/crisis, a friend crisis. Having something organised that doesn't happen is frustrating and annoying, but, like you said, don't beat yourself up over it. Stuff is going to happen! I'm married and sometimes don't see my OH until we both crawl into bed after midnight, exhausted...
HDL - I'm definitely not driving myself batty and quite enjoying having my me-time. I take my smart gal tips from you! ;-)
Geokker - Hilarious, you cheeky git! How did you find out my dirty little secret!?
Wyn - I love your outlook on life and in particular, relationships. I haven't the time or the energy to waste my sanity on something that is in the very early stages. TC is just fine and he text me last night a few times and he hated having to work. He'll just have to make it up to me when he gets back! :-|)
K - Thank you! I am not letting myself become sucked into becoming something else and losing my identity. That is the wonderful thing about taking things slowly and taking care of No.1!
DD - I am trying yoga Mr Psychic
;-) I could definitely do with something that clears my head. Work is super stressful at the moment! Naughty boy re the hook!
Chick - You're totally right and I am learning all of this and I genuinely am not upset by last night as there really is no need to be. As I said, shit happens;-)
Reaaallyy!...
Well, tell you what then. If you do yoga, I'll do yoga too! They have classes 2-3 times/week at my gym. I'll start this Saturday, and as I tie myself into a pretzel, you damn well better be doing the same! (time zone adjusted, of course) :)
Has anyone got a story to tell about boyfriends (or girlfriends)doing the dirty at their stag or hen party in the 1990's? If so Channel Four is looking for you! We're searching for people to tell us their story on an up and coming documentary. The deadline is March1st 2006 so get emailing!Please email Research@testimonyfilms.com or contact Roz on 01179258589
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