Innocence Vs Cynicism
A good friend is visiting from Chicago at the moment and tomorrow night we're supposed to be going to a musical courtesy of a guy who she met when we were at university together, who she barely knows and who clearly fancies her. She insisted that we were going to see Lord of The Rings, but couldn't find anything in Time Out about it and the boyf and I feeling suspicious checked online and discovered that it doesn't open till May 2007! The boyf and I were cracking up laughing and I felt certain that it was some ploy to get into her knickers. This morning I poked my head in before I left for work and told her. Post jet lag she lay there rubbing her eyes and looking very, very confused. She then says in her strong NYC accent 'But I don't understand! Like...he knows I'm in London this week! Why has he invited me to this play?' As I walked up to the Tube station I tried not to look like a loon as I giggled to myself at her naivete.
As we ate dinner tonight in the Indian tapas restaurant in Soho she remarked 'I trust everybody' totally straight faced and just as I was about to read her the riot act she said 'You must think I'm nuts! You're so cynical though!'
'Darling, you are officially the most innocent person I know!' I wisecracked.
'I'm not innocent...I'm just naive'
'Whatever....remember these things forever more....' and then in response to a number of things we discussed I advised 'There is no such thing as free dinner...this guy probably wants to screw you...You've spoken three times and he has stayed in touch with you for five years...He wants to screw you...It is very possible that he may have made up this musical thing just to get you out...People are sometimes dishonest for sex...And no...just because you ask two people if they're shagging each other it doesn't actually mean that they'll tell you that they are...People lie about sex and to get sex all the time...Oh my God please don't tell me that you believe every guy that says he'll call?...And you needn't think I'm shagging him for a flipping musical ticket...I've lived in London for 5.5 years and if this musical ACTUALLY exists, it'll be my first...I can't believe you think I'm cynical...OK maybe a bit...But remember that an erect penis clouds judgement and has a mind of it's own...'
As it turns out, she got the name of the musical wrong! We are actually going to We Will Rock You. She mentioned that this guy says he has a 'room' at the theatre for us (she probably meant box). The boyf was spluttering away on the phone and exclaimed 'Oh he wants to rock her alright!' See, it's not just me who's cynical!
As we ate dinner tonight in the Indian tapas restaurant in Soho she remarked 'I trust everybody' totally straight faced and just as I was about to read her the riot act she said 'You must think I'm nuts! You're so cynical though!'
'Darling, you are officially the most innocent person I know!' I wisecracked.
'I'm not innocent...I'm just naive'
'Whatever....remember these things forever more....' and then in response to a number of things we discussed I advised 'There is no such thing as free dinner...this guy probably wants to screw you...You've spoken three times and he has stayed in touch with you for five years...He wants to screw you...It is very possible that he may have made up this musical thing just to get you out...People are sometimes dishonest for sex...And no...just because you ask two people if they're shagging each other it doesn't actually mean that they'll tell you that they are...People lie about sex and to get sex all the time...Oh my God please don't tell me that you believe every guy that says he'll call?...And you needn't think I'm shagging him for a flipping musical ticket...I've lived in London for 5.5 years and if this musical ACTUALLY exists, it'll be my first...I can't believe you think I'm cynical...OK maybe a bit...But remember that an erect penis clouds judgement and has a mind of it's own...'
As it turns out, she got the name of the musical wrong! We are actually going to We Will Rock You. She mentioned that this guy says he has a 'room' at the theatre for us (she probably meant box). The boyf was spluttering away on the phone and exclaimed 'Oh he wants to rock her alright!' See, it's not just me who's cynical!
10 Comments:
Please, it is frightening how seldom the innocents of the world find each other, and make each other joyful -- but it really does happen. If your friend wants to plan for joy, that only increases her chances of finding it.
Naive is not a disease, and doesn't demand treatment to banish the condition. Friends can be true friends by standing by while their naive friends learn what lessons they may from their experiences. Skepticism can be self-fulfilling, too. Warn once of risks to joy, intervene where spilled blood is a risk. After the fact explanations usually work better, anyway.
wow...
haha that's too funny. That said i've had some pretty dumb moments with chicks, one of the funniest being a Saturday night where i managed to get to a chick's apartment by asking her if it was ok that i make use of her dvd player to watch Kung Fu Hustle. I really did want to watch the movie and spent the next 2 hours laughing my head off at the movie while she wondered what was wrong with me! haha.
Great to hear things are going so well with the boyf.
But the question is why is he getting tickets for someone he has only spoken to a couple of times?.....He wants to get laid!!
OK...but how do you get We Will Rock You & Lord Of The Rings mixed up???
We are so complex as men. :)
It's difficult for men to be honest about what they want from a woman because that decreases the chances of getting laid. The exception is when the man has nothing to lose and just says exactly what's on his mind. The latter is rare.
No, you're wrong. Men are just not like that.
How could a woman from both Chicago and NY be so naive? And hmmm, those names dont' sound anything alike could he be trying to cover his tracks so he can still get in her pants?
Brad K - I agree about the self-fulffiling but however I think that her innocence is what makes her so brilliant actually. It's refreshing and highly amusing!
Torren - Hee hee :-)
Lee Lee - Oh dear... you could have had a romantic liason ;-)
Saffyre - Amen! You think like I do.
NYM - Oh seemingly they had thought it was gonna be in that theatre next year and she misread the email...
Stephen - About as rare as black people turning white...
WDKY - And you'd know.... ;-)
Grins - She is one of lifes true innocents. She is totally trusting, open and optimistic. How the hell that's happened in NYC, God knows, but she is the Miracle on 57th street or whatever that film was called ;-)
I have to agree with the comment above...she's naive and she's from Chicago and NY?
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