Are you there Santa? It's me NML

Dear Santa,

I know you exist because I’ve been telling the bambino that you do and that if she doesn’t stop trying to unwrap all of her gifts under the tree, Santy (You don’t mind if I call you that, do you?) will be taking them all back and giving them to children that know how to mind their own business… Anyway, I’ve been reduced to writing to you because as a typical man (even a benevolent one with a big fat tummy, an ill-fitting red suit, and a white beard), I know you won’t take hints and you’re definitely not a mind reader. I’m looking for a stay of execution… Can you make Christmas last for another month or two so that I can stay home for a bit longer and avoid going to work on the 2nd?

I’m not work shy, I swear. I’m just not ready to get on trains with the great unwashed and have to go to work and cope with an overload of testosterone filled ego. I promise I’ll do all that ironing I’ve been promising to do for ages and finish sorting out those unpacked boxes in the spare room, and finish that bit of wallpapering, and cook meals from the Jamie Oliver cookbook and…Ah feck it! Just surprise me with a gift then…

I’m not leaving out a mince pie and a glass of brandy though now…

See ya

Thanks

NML x