Farewell...Sort of...

Hello Peeps! I think I should start off by saying that judging by the fact that I am writing this post, I have not been kidnapped by the kooky assclown that I caught following me the other day. I did get a couple of emails pondering my disappearance although I should point out that if he'd taken me off somewhere, I doubt he'd be kind enough to let me check my emails...I promise that I am not tied up somewhere and that he's not writing this after forcing my password out of me...

Anyway...

So I was sitting at a boozy dinner with B (one of my best mates that I used to work with and is now joining everybody else by leaving) and after talking about the past few months with blogging (you know my unpleasant stalker experience), having a baby (woo hoo), being happy and in love (yippee!) not really having that many man experiences to write about anymore, I decided that I'm going to say "Ta ra! Farewell! Bye bye!" to this blog.

OK then I nearly cacked myself at the thought of closing down my blog home of three and a half years and have decided to make my dipping in and out official by having a 'hiatus' and a move....

Men do annoy the sh*t out of me. That's a given. Just ask the boyf, the bro, MSlash, Skeletor/Bony Arse/Vulture and the ex Vulture, Soho Knight, my old boss Barry from Eastenders (yes he's leaving too...), my director, my old boss David Brent X 1 Million, my dad king of the new sibling springers (yeah, yeah, I know I should let it go), my stepdad (was married to me X 1 Million i.e. my ma), the annoying twat at the local garden centre who I had an argument on the street with, all of the poncy guys with too much testosterone that I have ever had the unfortunateness to work with in the penis bashing world of media, patronising doctors, eager beaver jumped up recruitment consultants, all of the guys who have ever approached me or chatted me up, all of my ex boyfriends... actually let me do a roll call for them...

That would be...

The first boyfriend who I broke up with fourteen times because I liked my "freedom" (read:other boys)
All of the teenage snogs and crushes
The one I had a snog with and then discovered that he had a girlfriend after he turned up the following day and announced that he'd finished it with her for me.
My boss at my job in the US that was so emotionally unavailable he must have been a walking corpse...
Numerous snogs and dates
Bee Gee, seventies dancing to all genres, penchant for ladies clothing at fancy dress party's, mummy's boy that also had a penchant for chatting up my friends and suggesting threesomes.
More snogs and dates.
Oh I nearly forgot about C who was another emotionally unavailable guy that I dated on and off for 4 years in between various boyfriends.
The p*sshead aggressive one from Fort Lauderdale that still owes me $2K.
The toy boy that created more of a mother/son relationship with me.
The Ex Fiance/Mr Brownsuit - cricket bat loving, control freak narcissist that couldn't bear the blinds being in the wrong direction.
Male Best Friend (MBF) - One with a girlfriend that didn't want me to have a life and basically mucked me around. Now we're not even friends.
Countless approaches, chat ups, and a few dates.
The Contender who then became Dot Dot Dot Man.
The Overexhuberant Puppy that had rogue willy syndrome.
The F*ckwit (doctor with BO and a big effing mouth. Oh and how could I forget the family full of crackheads and criminals....)
The Boyf - YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY! Finally!

The boyf is annoying but not enough to warrant me dedicating a blog to him! I'm really happy, loved up, and entertained by living with a football obsessed, Battlestar Galactica loving, cheeky, guy who can give me a run for my money and put me right back in my box. People want angst, drama, break ups, bad sex, rogue willies and B.O. and I will need to go back in time to provide that, so until I can decide what to write on here, I am going on a break.

There. I said it.

Of course, I'm still blogging. I have Baggage Reclaim (I get to do all of my man observations and venting here) my baby products blog Bambino Goodies which is really starting to take off and a few other projects on the go, but of course, I have found that I have a new specialist subject for bitching about - motherhood and the crackness that accompanies it.

So my new home will be over at Are You On Crack? - Crazy antics and observations on motherhood from the bottlelines. After writing a couple of columns over at Dollymix for a few months, I decided that right now, this is what I enjoy venting about. It will be updated at least weekly (definitely on Tuesday's) and I can focus on my new pet peeve - Other mums that annoy the cr*p out of me and people that can't help but say stupid things because they think they're allowed to because I'm a mum...

I have updated my new home so that I can bring you all up to speed on the past few weeks and give the truth (or most of it that won't get me sacked) about what really happened when I went back to work a few weeks ago.


I am still moving in at my new crackden but I hope some (or all) of you will join me over there. It's been an incredible journey on this blog. Thanks to everyone who has continued to read this blog even though I have been an inconsistent mofo ever since I got knocked up (hee hee)!

It's been eventful. See y'all around

NML xx