I'm going to shoot the boyf if he doesn't do all of the things around the house that he swears he's going to do every week. My ma bought us a tumbledryer nearly 3 weeks ago and it's sitting in the workshop outside..in the box. When she gave us the money for it originally she said "Now you'd better buy a tumbledryer. I'll want to see it!"
"Er...it's not like you're going to come around and ask where the tumbledryer is and I'll say it's popped to the shops!" I said in exasperation.
So now what's happening? Every frickin time my ma visits she asks about the tumbledryer! This is just like when I was single and my ma used to ask if I'd found a boyfriend...even if she'd spoken to me the day before! Every week I have to make up ridiculous excuses for my lazy boyf and in today's one I claimed that he'd hurt his neck. This is true (he slipped on the stairs yesterday) but that doesn't explain why he didn't set it up at the weekend. My ma's response? "He wasn't carrying the bambino was he?" and seeing me shake my head "Oh good".
His other 'crimes' include:
Going through a phase of buying 'art' on eBay and now my house is full of unhung paintings, some of which are behind the fridge. Every week he's promised that they will be hung up and they are still exactly where they have been for MONTHS!
Not unpacking his suitcase between trips. At the moment I am testing him to see how long it will take before he twigs that the suitcase fairy hasn't unpacked it and taken out his laundry.
Clogging up the TV harddrive with bloody HD wildlife programmes and then getting all twitchy about what I'm recording!
How many times can one person watch Face Off? Rambo? Demolition Man? and other stupid films that have people like Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal in them that only guys watch?
I got my bank statement this morning and noticed a lot of supermarket purchases. Curious, I added them up and was horrified when I realised that I'd spent £312 last month in my local supermarkets! That doesn't include any cash purchases I may have made or any of the visits the boyf made....I've decided that it's time for me to budget because not budgeting has me going in for a bottle of milk and coming back with £20 worth of groceries that I didn't need before I went in! Anyway...
The bambino is attempting to test my patience by ignoring my requests to behave herself. I know she's only 9 months or so but she understands 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Right now she's gone out to the hall and suddenly realised that the front door makes it a dead end...Moments ago she was in the kitchen playing with the cat flap left by the previous residents and before that she was standing up watching TV at the TV stand and trying to figure out how to remove the Wii...
The boyf accused me of snoring last night. "I was snoring?"I said in disbelief. "Yeah you were!"he said gleefully. "Well I must have cold then!" I said firmly and he cracked up laughing. Well why else would I be snoring....?
I have to go...the bambino is pulling out one nappy wipe after another and eating them....
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
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7 comments:
Boyf and I have something in common. I love art, but my buying spree was before I met my wife. Now, I have no place on the wall for art. I can't say I share his love for the Action movies. :) Well, if they're on and I have nothing to do. NML, it's been a while. I hope all is well. Take care. x
Movies, that is a pretty personal thing. I watched Working Girl 11 times in the theatre, Sound of Music 12 times. I think I watched Bourne Identity 5 times in the theater, 6 times for Shooter.
On DVD nights, I think I am up to 8 times for In Harms Way (John Wayne, Patricia Neal) since December. Shooter is at three times, Man of the House (Tommy Lee Jones) about 6 times since last fall, Under Siege (Steven Seagal) heaven knows - over 20 in the last year. Saving Face, about 8 times in all, 6 for Kissing Jessica Stein, Eraser (Arnold Swartzenegger) 5 times at least. Hamburger: The Motion Picture three times. It has been about a year since I watched Nuns on the Run, but at least 8 times the year before.
If a story is worth reading or watching, it is worth reading or watching again.
On the tumbledryer. You might ask the boyf for a nail bar and wrenches and electric test meter - and start to do it yourself. It is always easier pitching in (and looking like a hero) than doing the work yourself.
On the art, look into do-it-yourself frames. You can do some great things with a could basic acrylic wall paint cans (120ml or so will cover a few frames). You can learn to break out a paint brush, use it for a small task, clean it well, and store it for the next day. Practice makes the task simpler. Just remember, you don't want to use finger paint on picture frames, and you don't want the bambino using wall paint for finger paint. Make a list of the art you want to frame first, the sizes, the types of frames you envision, whether you want matte's cut for them (affects frame size). Pick off a couple each week. Talk to the boyf the entire time you work - don't say anything about him helping, just keep plugging away and conversing with him. The sly part is keeping his attention. Eventually he will either leave or pitch in, without being told a thing. If he leaves, wrap up the current task, and dig in again some other time he is around.
Steven Segal is cheesy, but that doesn't change the fact that "Hard to Die" is one of the best movies EVER!
I think I know a way to motivate the boyf to get some chores done...Hire someone to come in & hang things or install things while he's there. His male ego will wither & next time he'll do it himself! Well, that's the plan... Reverse psychology.
NML,
Send me an email so I can have your email address. I closed down the website that had the previous email address.
stephen.bess@gmail.com
hi sistalove. i am just catching up with your blog. i can imagine ms. bambino discovering new things in the house. wow 9 months. congrats. on the tumble dryer. one day it will get up and running ... the same holds true for the paintings. be blessed. ananda
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, your humour gets me everytime! Thanks for coming back!!
HAHA!!! Eating baby wipes..that made me snort in glee and snorting is neverrrr good!!!
Accidentally delete all his programmes. Say the bambino did it...problem solved!!
I assume most of these purchases were made in waitrose....evil place. keeps my mum working all hours it sucks.
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