On April 30th just after 3.30pm, I snatched up my phone and bit the bullet. I called up the journalist that had 'interviewed' me (I say this loosely) and expressed my upset at her not actually stating that she was interviewing me and my concern that I would be included in a feature about revenge, which is not what I, or this blog are about. I told her quite shrilly (I was stressed for fecks sake) that I did NOT want to open the paper and see something like "Blogger gets revenge on ex with her blog!" or some other pathetic headline.
I went onto the Daily Mails supposed section for women yesterday and actually nearly threw up in shock!
"Don't get mad, get E-VENGE!"
It's even worse in the paper where just in case the Daily Mail hadn't quite put the full boot into misrepresenting me and featuring me in article full of TWENTY SIX inaccuracies about me, they added a sub header of "It's the new mantra for women using the internet to take revenge on cheating men".
Really, I don't think I have EVER been so angry!
I want to categorically state for the record that I did NOT set up this blog to take revenge on my ex. I set up this blog after a bad date with PC Plod, the extremely nice guy but incredibly boring copper. God that was almost four years ago!
I found out that my ex had been cheating after I started the blog - actually it was the following day. But actually, you don't need me to tell you this because anybody can read go back and check the facts and see for themselves!
Update May 9th - Here are some examples of inaccuracies:
"Natalie like a growing number of other betrayed and deceived women, decided to take her revenge online. 'I woke up at 5am and felt an overwhelming urge to vent my anger'.....'So I logged onto my computer and set up a blog'"
Total and utter poo. This is my first ever blog post. I did set up the blog at 5am because I couldn't sleep. Considering that I didn't know when I started the blog that my ex had been doing a bit of overlapping, how could I have felt such anger to set up a blog?
"In the past, Natalie might have taken revenge by cutting up her faithless fiancé's clothes, or perhaps even trashing his beloved car."
Today, I had to face the embarrassment of my neighbour asking me "So have you cut up other exes clothes or trashed their cars?" This line in the piece implies that had I not had access to the internet, I'd have done exactly that or 'may' have done this in the past....
"It felt great to release the pent-up frustration," says Natalie Lue, who was engaged to Tom for five years, but discovered his infidelity only after ending their relationship.
I told her I started the blog to vent about my frustrations about dating. I was also engaged for about 15 months...
"And because we'd met through colleagues and shared mutual friends, lots of people knew exactly who I was writing about."
Total bollocks. I blogged in anonymity for almost two years! A handful of people knew about the blog but the vast majority of my readership was strangers! I hadn't even worked with the colleagues we met through for a year when I started the blog, and I haven't spoken to or seen them for about three years!
"But once Natalie had finished pouring scorn on her ex-fiancĂ Tom, she found herself reluctant to give up her blog."
Once again, the Daily Mail is making me out to be a cyber bunny boiler who just couldn't stop wreaking revenge or should I say "pouring scorn" on my exes. This is a personal blog, a diary which has provided snapshots of my life. As I didn't start this blog to take revenge, there was nothing to be reluctant about giving up! This is a total and utter fabrication!
***
Just to show how inaccurate the Daily Mail are, let me give you some interesting figures:
In June 2004, my first month, I wrote 23 posts (yeah, I was single and used to update frequently!)
Out of 23 posts, only one post is dedicated to him which equals 4% of the content.
There are 2 more posts that make a reference to him. 1 post is a positive reference and 1 post is about men peeing on toilet seats and I wisecracked that he missed the rim.
In July 2004, I wrote 27 posts. 0 were dedicated to the subject of him. 2 made a reference to him and 1 made a reference to our engagement ring which I just realised that I have still forgotten to sell after FIVE years!
In August 2004, I wrote 22 posts. 0 were dedicated to the subject of him. 2 made a reference.
That means that out of 72 posts written in 3 months, 1 PERCENT of the posts were dedicated to him!
8% referenced him.
1% referenced the engagement ring.
Now what they don't know is that FORTY THREE PERCENT!!! of posts in June 2004 seem to mention toilet seats and the fact that I was living with that strange man boy who literally couldn't p*ss on a toilet seat to save his life!
Now, how the hell did the Daily Mail come up with the idea that I set up a revenge blog when I wasn't even writing about him, never mind taking revenge? What was I doing? Taking revenge on toilet seats and men that can't pee right?
Oh and I went from being engaged for 14/15 months (I forget now after soooo much time has passed) to being engaged for FIVE years! We've been broken up for five years and I've lived in London for seven... I'm only thirty so did they think I was some sort of frickin' child bride?!
Twenty frickin' bloody six inaccuracies or just outright fabrications about me in one poxy article and to add insult to injury, they didn't even mention Baggage Reclaim which was the only reason why I had initially agreed.
Of course I have written to the Press Complaints Commission, the editor and yada, yada, yada, but the fact remains that their papers become someones loo roll the next day but that pile of shite that is their article is up online telling anyone and everyone that I am an e-venger. It's pretty disgusting and what's most appauling is that they have reduced four years of this blog, two and a half years of Baggage Reclaim, a year of Bambino Goodies, and various other blogs plus my contributing...to an act of revenge....against someone who didn't even mean enough for me to even fully dedicate the one blog post about his cheating. I even said "The revelation last night doesn't hurt, but it does anger me, but even that has passed." and then in true me fashion, I rambled on about my period....
Oh and I know for a fact that they stopped publishing comments on the story yesterday as I was contacted by several people who said that they had commented to set the record straight. So not only do they want to put up 26 inaccuracies about me, but for some reason, they don't want anyone to know about it...
If this was pre-internet days, I really would be up sh*ts creek without a paddle but thankfully the internet which has made me connect with thousands of people, make quite few friends and acquaintances, and even a stalker...has meant that at least I can respond.
Jaysus!
Update 14th May
The Daily Mail have removed the article and sent me a letter...
Update 9th May - As I start to put the word out about what has happened, I want to include links of other bloggers comments of support on their blogs. Thank you!
Dollymix - Cate Sevilla
It's About Making Babies - Brad K
Shimmering Thoughts - Serendipity
Black and Married with Kids - TheMom and TheDad
Cheekie Talkback
Rachel North
One Man Blogs - Gordon McLean
Bad Girls Guide - Vixen
40s Singleness - Lisa Q
Leyton.org
Feeling Listless
The Make - Thomas
Emchi
Morphological Confetti - Stephen Bess
The F Word - Contemporary UK Feminism
Never Mind the Bloggocks
License to Roam
Longrider
Slaminsky
Real E Fun
The Kaptain Kobold Blog
New York Moments
My updates
I'm Tired of the Daily Mail and their "tongue in cheek" article
Thursday, May 08, 2008
The Daily Mail Newspaper Tells Everyone that I Blog for "E-Venge"
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52 comments:
So you finally commented about that story. I wondered if you would. In light of the fact that you have this blog as evidence it'd be wise for the Daily Mail to remove that piece. It's extremely defamatory, misleading, and misrepresentative of you, which is actually illegal as I understand it.
I should add that I am a man and have read your blog on and off for a while. I don't think you're even tired of men ;-) Good luck!
That article was a disgusting misrepresentation of what I have always found to be a very lighthearted, funny and entertaining blog. It's never been a 'revenge' blog - what an absurd suggestion for them to make.
I'm actually furious on your behalf. It just goes to show that you just can't trust journalists these days, they will make up any kind of crap to sell their newspapers. Unless they print a retraction i'll never buy their disgusting rag again - and i'll be sure and tell as many people as I can not to buy it either!!
Give them hell NML!!!
Oh my god hun you must be fuming beyond understanding :(
to have that paper lie about you to the nation would make me shake and scream!
Anything I can do to help, I shall. Jayysuuus papers really will make up any old crud!
Maybe they were trying to get at the point that you talk about men..but taking it that far is ridiculous.
The people who matter know the truth, and just remember that's the most important thing. I hope they retract it.
I'd ask them to kiss your feet too. Pathetic..no wonder I'm dead set against going into journalism...bunch of hounds
xxx {hug}
Typical bloody Daily sodding Mail. I mean it's not like there aren't enough of the real thing, as The Observer found out when they posted a typically well researched story on the subject over a week ago:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2008/apr/27/internet.blogging
I am appalled at how the mail interpreted your words and made up their own. They obviously have an agenda and women having healthy relationships is not one of them. It appears to me that having a blog aimed at spelling it straight to women and helping them be real about their unhealthy patterns was just not "sellable" enough.
Much more exciting to read about the woman scorned.
Too bad it's all lies!
You blogs have been an enormous help and have helped me to be real with myself and take responsibility for the choices I am making and the relationships in which I have engaged.
I hope this get straightened out. I wrote a comment to the Mail, but it seems that they are electing to "edit" comments now.
Ashley
I wrote a post about it on our site, I hope it helps:
http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2008/05/09/uks-daily-mail-newspaper-makes-up-story-about-one-of-our-guest-bloggers/
Anon - This was something that I couldn't just sit there and stay silent and fume over it. And no, I'm not *that* tired of men :-)
Saffyre - Thanks hun! I was never one of their readers but I most certainly won't be buying their paper for sure now! It's lazy journalism but they are screwing with my reputation!
Ametyl - Shake and scream isn't even the half of it! I don't know why they put me in the article but what's become clear is they had a story and they were going to make me fit into their story come hell or high water!
Stuart Ian Burns - See this is why I am a Guardian and Observer reader - 'research' and maintaining their 'credibility' is key. Thanks for the link.
Ashley - Thank you for your generous words of support. Reading the story I almost forget why I blog in the first place and your comment reminded me of the great things that have been happening to people like you. Glad to help. The Daily Mail aren't publishing anymore comments - nothing has been published since lunchtime on Wednesday...
Blackandmarriedwithkids - Thanks TheDad and TheMom! Big hugs xxx
I have known Natalie for about two months. In that time period she has been my primary support person helping me to recover from an 18 month relationship with an extremely emotionally abusive unavailable man. Her blogs and website hae been my lifesavers. Even more than that she has called me weekly and her support and insight have literally turned me around and helped me move on with my life.
And I live aross the ocean from her. Better than my therapist and my best friends, she has enabled me to see how unhealthy it is to be with an emotionally unavailable man.
This Newspaper doesn't deserve a circulation if it needs to publish crap about Natalie. Pathetic.
I saw that you had posted over here so I want to repeat my sentiments that I expressed over at Baggage.
nml I’ve been reading your blogs for years and you have helped thousands of women so I don’t get how this has become ‘e-venge’! The article on Femail has you lined up with vengeful women which puts you out of context! Pay no attention. Your readers know the real truth and no body but crazy right wingers that hate everything and everyone reads that piece of crap anyway.
Furious right there with you missus.
Have put up post and will chase up some other bloggers as well.
You have my FULL support! As I said before if anything they should have used you to highlight how there is a positive way to handle your relationship pain.
Personally I can’t thank you enough for what you have done with your blogs and your ebook. You have SAVED me from continuing to humiliate myself further with a eum. You taught me about accountability. I don’t think you have any idea what you are doing for thousands of women and I hope that the Daily Mail doesn’t scare you away. We need you!
Natalie, the Daily Mail should be ashamed of themselves. Anybody who has read your valuable words on Baggage Reclaim will know that your impartial advice is of immense help and support to those of us in difficult situations. To suggest that any of it is to do with revenge is quite patently ridiculous. You have my full support!
Wow, i'm totally shocked. I wrote a post for you. You never take yourself to seriously, and this blog has always been fun and a joy to read. So why are they trying to muddy it up? Hang in there, this too will pass.
I haven't blogged about this (yet) but I've already got a post about the Mail plagiarising bloggers, so I'll re-edit it to include this odious little practice from the world's worst paper.
In the meantime, I've left a link to your post over on the Mail Watch website. Hopefully they'll help run with it and spread the word some more.
http://www.bigdaddymerk.co.uk/mailwatchnew/?p=2552
Fifth comment down. Good luck!
I still can't believe this has happened to you! I'm a huge fan of your blogs especially Bambino Goodies and I don't understand why you've been singled out although we don't know yet how much they exaggerated the other womens stories. What I don't understand is why they led with you in the piece? I hope that Laura Topham gets sacked because she is giving journalists a bad name! Just remember that those that know you and read your blogs know the truth but I guess it's not them that you're worried about..........
This is totally wrong! The way you've been treated that is. I'd suggest they've got about as much journalistic talent as a sick cat, i.e. they regurgitate crap until someone tells them not to.
You've got my support, I've blogged something about it. Not sure if anyone will read it though.
I saw Gordon's blog about this. The mail is scum they'll print whatever they want to suit their agenda even if that includes lieing and misrepresenting people. Not all journalists are like this but they work for more responsible papers. I hope you get an apology out of the wankers.
I came over here from the Daily Mail expecting an expose of your exes and I was very confused. Where is all that scorn you're supposed to have been pouring? I reckon a lot of people must have been sorely disappointed not to find the scandal that the Daily Mail promised, me included! I hope that you get your retraction and apology because there are a lot of people who won't have taken the time to look you up and discover the truth and that means that in the eyes of strangers you are a bunny boiler. Good luck!
I've posted my feelings about the article. I think that it's great you have so much support. I hope it helps. Peace~
I've never encountered your blog before, but it seems that the Daily Mail have treated you appallingly. I understand that they have a habit of breaking copyright laws and other journalistic ethics as they exploit bloggers. FWIW you have my support
I am a loyal fan now ;-) You have my support for sure.
I have just read the article.
Blimey! you sound like a right nutter!
What? have I missed something?
I have just relised that this is the first time I have left a message on your blog (which is rubbish really given how long I have know you.)But for all those people out there who dont you and have read the Mail and made assumptions that your wonderfully witty , warm and insightful blog is about revenge then I urge them to read the blog .I would hope then even those with very small brains can see that this hacks version of the facts is about as far as you can get from the reality of what you write and your motivation behind it.
lots of love Q
Fuck them...which is American english slang for Fuck Them! I am a fan now! Keep your head up and continue to do what you do so well. Blog baby! Blog ON!
I totally support you. It's a ashamed that someone would put a twist on it. Personally I would have to put the person who interviewed me on blast! It's your story.. your view point..I understand what you do and why you blog.
As we say in the states... 'let the haters hate!'
coming in via The Blogging Truth
Backfire! The negative article has made your blog more popular, which I doubt was the intent.
Stay strong!
I just wanted to say that I have been reading your blog since a few months after you started and have followed your journey. You have been through so much and not only shown humility AND entertained people with your posts about just about anything and everything but you have helped thousands of people too. You probably don't remember me but I'm Jackie that emailed you about three years ago to ask for advice on sarcoidosis. You didn't have to help me but we exchanged about ten emails and you were so supportive. God bless you and get your retraction. Just remember who you are and don't lose sight of that x
The Mail will do ANYTHING for a headline. Luckily they're not blaming you for a national drop in house prices too..! Like your blog, don't let a minor setback stop your very entertaining work..
Dear Nat ann everyone,
I am writing in support of your blog and the community of blog readers you have nurtured with your writing for the past several years. You are a tremendous giving keep it real person who has shared from her heart and funny bone. I have read your blog for the past two years and never felt you were writing posts to get _e-venge." Your blog, newsletter, columns, and e-book represent positively stimulating and humorous new media projects that enlighten folks about daily life, family, relationships, and popular culture. I have recommended your e-book and newsletter for my Love's Troubadours' readers and BAP Living social networking site members. You are an inspiration. Keep writing your truth. Peace and Love, Ananda
Hey, I'm a friend of Saffyre's and just heard about this through her blog.
It's absolutely unethical for them to do that, but hardly surprising. Newspapers only exist today to sell themselves. Why tell the truth when you can make crap up and sell more papers?
I worked for a local paper for a short time and quit because I got tired of being told to 'enhance' my stories, or give them more 'flavor'. Apparently, ethics and a desire to tell the truth just don't belong in newspapers anymore.
On the upside, this whole thing led to me discovering your blog, so at least it did SOME good (at least for me) :-)
Hi, I read what the Daily Mail wrote about you and was disgusted. I tried to write a message on the Mail website but it wasn't posted.
At least I have discovered your blog :-)
Thanks for stopping by. Come back anytime. I will be here often.
Happy Mother's Day!
My contribution: here
Wendy - Gosh Wendy - thank you for your very kind words. It's been a pleasure to speak with you each week and I look forward to speaking with you tomorrow. Big hug xx
Are You Serious! - Thank you - trust me, I don't 'get' how all of this has become e-venge against my ex but I guess the Daily Mail has the key to that one!
Rachel- Thanks hun - support much appreciated. You've stopped me from going totally doolally these past few days. x
Terry - I promise I'm not going anywhere and thanks for taking the time to comment again.
CurlyGirl - Thank you! It's interesting that you use the word 'impartial' - I'm glad you pointed that out because the DM would have you convinced I use my ex as a platform!
Vixen - Thanks hun! (((hugs))) I've been rolling with you for years now so you know the score. Thanks for your post too x
Paul - Thanks for including the link of at Mail Watch. It's like a totally different world over there. Last time I checked there was a mega discussion on immigration going down. It's a great read.
Sara - Actually you raise a good point. *I* don't know why they led with me on the piece considering that my part is a fabrication. Wouldn't it be better to minimise the risk and at least have *some* element of credibility by leading with a *real* story of e-venge? Thanks for stopping by and showing your support.
Emchi - Thanks Emchi. I loved that analogy!
Jane - I flipping hope so too and thanks for your support. Thankfully you are right about not all journalists being like her. It's quite a silly risk for her to have taken!
Anon - Sorry to disappoint! This is a blog that has spoken about everything from bad taste in men to my struggles with a disease, to smelly commuters. God, this must have been *very* disappointing for DM readers! Indeed, it is the people that don't know the truth that worry me. Thanks for stopping by.
Stephen - Thanks Bro Bess (((hugs))) I sent you a message on FB.
Gert - Thank you for your kind words - yes they do have a habit of it and I wish I had been keeping up with my blog reading over the past few weeks as I'd have told them to get knotted!
Tha BossMack Topsoil - Oh thank you! I went over to your blog and I had to close my eyes a couple of times ;-)
Mick - Hehe! Yeah, there's a secret trapdoor where the real blog exists....NOT (she says in her best Borat voice). No you haven't missed anything other than the DM deciding to a spot of fabricating and fact twisting. Thanks for your post too x
Q - Ah Q! You're a sweetie and thanks for taking the time to do this. You'll have me blubbing any moment! Give the kiddies a hug for me and tell 'em to stop arguing - I can only assume they are doing their favourite pastime ;-)xxxx
Lovebabz - Thank you! I will keep my head up and try not to get too weighed down by this rubbish!
Eathan White - Thank you - I like that saying!
Sista GP - Thanks for stopping by. It certainly wasn't the intent - I even said to them that there was no point in including this blog as I don't write here very often and I don't promote it. Oh the irony!
Jackie - I remember you! Lovely to hear from you and thanks for taking the time to stop by. I hope that the sarcoid is staying away!x
lucyfishwife - Yes, literally ANYTHING! Thanks for making me giggle and your support x
Ananda - Thanks Ananda for your very supportive words and well done to you for all of your endeavors. I have seen my invite for BAP and need to join up! x
Paulius - I remember you from her comments box - thanks for taking the time to stop by. It's funny - I spoke to someone who works for a small-ish paper and they said the same thing. It's a huge balancing act of their ethics versus wanting to stay employed.
Claire - Oh they won't be publishing comments - they haven't since Wednesday lunchtime, no doubt when the comments box became busy with people outing their lies... Thanks for your support.
Longrider - Thank you! I have added you to the list in my post.
Hey, just been reading up on all this. The Daily Mail have completely screwed up here and hopefully there will be an expose in some other media outlet asap!
Take care darlin, see you soon x
Carrie - Thanks hun and defas see you soon!xxx
I have just seen comments from your cyberstalker littered on various posts of support for you. Not only is the Daily Mail out of order for writing that article but they seem have triggered your stalker. This is ridiculous! I saw what she has written about you on her blog and I know from the little that you have said about her that she is breaching the restraining order! I am very sorry that you have to experience this. I look forward to you getting your apology and just remember that your stalker is digging a very large hole for herself so don't her ravings too much to heart.
I'll leave this anon because I don't want that woman attacking me too.
I mean don't 'let' her ravings........
I have just escaped NMLs pan....
natalie have you seen all the links, there are about 20 already!
I just wanted to stop by and say how sorry I am to hear what has happened. Until a few days ago, I had never come across you but I read about you in the Daily Mail and assumed that you were a woman out for revenge. I didn't know what to think when I arrived at this blog because there were no signs of this nastiness and I ended up reading most of it and visiting your other blogs. I now find out the truth and feel deeply saddened that the Daily Mail has treated you in this manner. I don't understand why they would pick on you but it shows a very callous, ruthless side to the media and leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I won't be buying the Daily Mail or reading their site again unless its to read their apology which you fully deserve. Good luck to you and God bless.
I came by here after reading Longrider's latest post.
Tomorrow they'll still be talentless, scrupleless tabloid hacks. But you'll be a talented writer with another reader.
The Mail makes me embarrassed to be a conservative sometimes. I look forward to the day when the press manage not only to find their arses with both hands, but to actually recognise that there are such things as 'facts'.
In the meantime, I'd rather spend my time reading blogs like yours than read something that doesn't deserve to call itself a 'newspaper'.
Wow, that is nuts. Talk about trashy journalism.
I don't know, but it sounds like they're serving themselves a good case of libel against them.
Trashy journalism indeed! Listen Natalie - you fight your corner but do not allow the Daily Mail to cloud your perception of you. You are a talented woman. I am another person that came over from the Mail - there's no revenge here! Absolutely disgusting what they have done and it makes you wonder how many falsehoods they insert into other stories. Take care of yourself and remember that you have a lot of support.
Hi you, I was totally shocked with the story, how media can change the truth to suit themselves. Thank god there are people like you bloging real life, it just goes to show you cant trust anything you read in the papers. I know you well and have also been following your blog for a number of years, you have helped many people and put smiles on many faces, your blogging has a much higher impact than the Daily Mail. The comments left by your readers and support from thoses sites clearly shows you have support. All PR is good PR, think of it that way.
Your fab
SMG
Anon - Thank you. I am ignoring it now and thanks for taking the time to point it out and for lending your support.
Bunjo - Yes...a pan that didn't exist...
Anon - Thanks anon - I have seen the links and it's great :-)
an ex daily mail reader - Wow - thank you for reaching out. Yes it does show a "ruthless, callous side to the media" and I think anyone has been pouring scorn here, it's them not me. I appreciate your support and they only have themselves to blame for losing another reader.
Rob f - Thank you for your comment. You actually made me giggle with finding their arse with their hands part! Yes it would be great if we could read something factual from time to time in the papers. I shall be publishing some interesting 'facts' later.
The Dummy - Hey you. Thanks for your support. "trashy" is an apt description and it's a shame I'm in the thick of it!
Jan Power - Thanks for stopping by and lending your support. Well the burning question is: Is it just me that they lied about or did they lie about the other two?
smg - Hi hun! Thanks for generous comment and the email you sent me which made me snort with laughter. It's good to be laughing again! I am trying to think of it that way but then every time I see that stupid headline, I fume. I'm not some flipping Z-lister desperate for any 'ole story - jaysus! But you are right and I am just trying to be calm. Chat later xxx
I am late to this but wanted to say how appalled I am by the Daily Mail. I am sorry that you have to experience this. Bloody awful! We're here for you
K
I am 100% behind you.
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