Coming Home (Again) and 5 Year's of Blogging

I realised recently that I will have been blogging for five years this Saturday and suddenly, the thought of never writing on here again or shutting it down filled me with dread, despite not writing on here for a few months. I don't know what it is, but I can't let go and maybe it's because I shouldn't. Yeah, this has been almost five years of a journey which has seen me chart some of my deepest thoughts about my dubious relationship decisions, to struggling and then recovering from, what was at the time a debilitating immune system disease, to some rather stark realisations about myself, to finding love, getting knocked up and embracing motherhood, to trickles of moans about trying to be superwoman as I juggle parenthood with being self-employed as a blogger. And let's not forget being falsely accused of setting up this blog for revenge by a national newspaper...



There's a few different, negative things that have happened that have made me a bit scared of having a 'personal blog' but I realised a while back that I missed sharing my experiences and charting what can at times be the insanity of my life. I've tried to set up home elsewhere and then I find myself missing this place and it's difficult to ignore the emails from people asking when I'm going to update and why I won't write here. So I thought, 'Oh feck it, let's try again!'



So I'm back...



To give you the quick lowdown, since I last updated I've had another baby girl who is now almost 7 weeks old. 'The bambino' just turned two and I think the realisation that I have two kids is starting to dawn on me. Periodically throughout the pregnancy I would wail 'How the $%£$ am I going to cope with two children?' to which everyone would say 'You just do' and I'm discovering that this is true. Plenty of 'reacting' and 'flying by the seat of my pants'.



Speaking of pants, I wore a thong for the first time in ages the other day and I really don't know how I wore them for so many years way back when. Now that I'm time poor, I haven't time to be 'adjusting' myself all frickin' day!


My family are still completely crackers. The bro (now known as Uncle Titty as the bambino can't pronounce 'Richie') has moved back from the Middle East and I admit that each week he comes to visit and we have a mega bitching session and watch Jordan and Peter Stateside and whatever other trash we can find on TV that afternoon - the joy of Virgin catchup. My ma, is...still the same. I love when she says 'You should be resting!...Are you not going to make me a cup of tea?' or turns up unannounced and demands to know why the boyf is making tea in his boxers. Er...we didn't know you were coming!



In answer to the numerous emails asking if the boyf and I have got married yet, the short answer to that is 'No'. The words 'credit' and 'crunch' spring to mind as well as 'need to get my tummy down'.



The boyf and I are still the same - nuts and happy. Of course he annoys the crap out of me at times but I'm sure I do as well.... It's just that I don't have to be asked to do things a gazillion times, or have to have a firecracker put up my backside to get out of the house on time!



He's really chilled so he thinks I'm bonkers when I get annoyed about the cardinal sin of Leaving Things Till the Last Moment. He also keeps Offering Useless Man Advice.



I tell him something, he offers a solution, and some of them are just downright annoying. If I moan about work and being tired, he says I should go to bed early. Or stop spending time on Twitter... Or relax... Or be more organised... If I say 'The kids are driving me nuts!' he says 'Well you'd better get used to it!' Don't even get me started...