Whingey and Whiney and the Weekend of being Super Busy

I actually said to the kids today (yes I'm still bemused by having 'kids'), "If you two don't stop crying, I'm going to change your names to Whingey and Whiney!" Now they're only 8 weeks and 2 years so they don't know that they can't change their name by deed poll until they're 18 but who's checking?

There was a moment today where I was faced with a difficult conundrum. The bambino seemed to come back from the childminders in a mood and decided to start wailing the place down like a maniac when the baby started crying. I picked up the baby to pacify her and the bambino became outraged even though I was trying to cuddle her at the same time. So I put down the baby for a moment and focused on giving her a cuddle, to which the baby became outraged. I stood there staring at the two of them and thinking about the packet of Wine Gums in the kitchen momentarily tuned out the noise. Eventually after a phonecall to the boyf where the bambino ratted on me for God knows what in a load of gibberish gripes, I called the bro, Uncle Titty on Skype, settled her with pastels and paper and they chatted and drew together whilst I fed the baby and got dinner started.

This was just another day of madness after a ridiculously busy weekend.

Friday I had a friend over with her toddler in the morning. By the time it got to the early evening and one of my oldest friends and her husband were due to arrive (they're over from Dublin), the sitting room looked like it had been ransacked by burglars, albeit a miniature one with a dodgy afro. We had a great evening, reminiscing about when we spent a summer in Florida in our footloose, fancyfree and child free days and being generally silly. The boyf excelled himself in making a show out of me by telling her husband I ran a sex site... I don't but he gets great amusement out of saying I do...

Saturday we were off to a wedding for two of our closest friends. I wore a purple chiffon dress and every time my boobs got a bit full, the button would pop. It seems I am forever more destined to expose myself...

Must say we had a bit of a 'HUH???' moment when someone did a reading during the ceremony and described our friends as a "....power couple...like Brangelina without the adopted African kids!" Cue the people who had actually seen the two black folk (yes that would be us) shuffling uncomfortably and unable to resist looking at us to see our reaction. This is why I always say it's important to know your audience...and your facts - they've only adopted one African child. I suppose Madonna wouldn't have worked too well for the reading...

We'd been a bit worried about bringing the baby with us as she has waaay bigger diva tendencies than the bambino and was a complete nightmare at another function last month but she was brilliant. I was sat in the lobby discreetly feeding her when the grooms father approached me. He's a jolly sort from up t'North and I think he did a few sunbeds in the run up to the big event as he wasn't too far off mahogany.

"Ooh, have you got the baby there? She sleeping is she?"
"No she's feeding" I said just as he appeared to be bending down to lift the muslin.
"She's sleeping?" he said hesitantly with hand poised.
"No, no - she's FEEDING!" I said hastily.
"Fe-fe...oh feeeeding" he said as it registered. 'Woah!" he said backing away with a giggle. "That was close!"

Yesterday we went to a Christening and then headed off to Thorpe Park (yes the amusement park) for one of the godmothers birthdays. There was much melodrama en route when the boyf discovered that his 30gb ipod had been stolen when he put the car in the car wash on Saturday morning. He was fuming and didn't appreciate my 'solution' offering. He was lucky I didn't point out that if he had just gone and got his hair cut instead of going off on a jaunt, he'd still have it...

The boyf in typical 'I am a man and I don't need help with directions' fashion put 'Thorpe Park' into the GPS on his iPhone and announced that it would take 25 minutes. As we started weaving through side roads of areas I'd never been in, the boyf was saying stuff like "Oh I see which way this thing is taking me..." and then it told us to take a left and we'd be at our destination and we pulled up in the middle of a housing estate...

I nearly wet myself laughing as I knew I could dine off this incident for a while. He then admitted that the iPhone had said it was 'unverified' but he thought it was being stupid because "How many Thorpe Park's could there be?" I'm guessing two...

We then put the postcode in (yes he'd had it all along...) only for it to now say we were 35 minutes away and for the boyf to decide to ignore it and take his own route. "I'm going on the M25....I know this place like the back of my hand....OH FRICK! I forgot I can't access it this way.."

We eventually got there and the bambino was rather nonplussed by the rides after insisting on getting on them. She scowled from 'The Teacups' and the carousel and it occurred to me that the 'moody' years may be upon me long before she hits double figures...

Oh and I didn't even say - So we asked my ma if she could babysit the bambino when we were going to the wedding and she said yes...but then forgot... Fortunately, the bro, Uncle Titty (the bambino couldn't pronounce 'Richie' and now the name has stuck...) had already offered to babysit her at our house... When I got back on Saturday night, he said he was still traumatised by changing his first pooey nappy. "I didn't know she did adult poos...." he said looking rather weak. Hilarious!