I admit it…I bunked off my blood test this morning. I was decent enough to call and say I was unwell hence me not being able to make it but the truth is, I couldn’t be arsed and I’ve spent so much time secretly worrying about going that I thought it was better to stay home and vacuum the bedroom – doing housework rather than going out just goes to show that I must be stressed. What next? Dusting the entire house?
And then you’re like, what the eff are you talking about? What blood test?
Ah…it’s that time again when the ‘ole sarcoidosis worry rears its ugly head. I’m just over three months since I had the baby and just like with the bambino, as a precautionary measure, they’ll check my blood. Problem is that all the swine flu talk plus a mystery rash amongst a few other oddities has me feeling a bit…well…paranoid.
I’ve been in remission for over three years but no matter how much I have cast away the sarcoidosis, it comes back time and again because each time there is something wrong with me, the doctors bring it up and when the hospital cocked up by not assessing me properly in the last few weeks of the pregnancy, the cheeky bastards covered it up in the notes by saying it was my sarcoidosis why they had said I had to have an elective c-section – it wasn’t. The baby wasn’t in the right position and starting labour could have caused the cord to come down, big risks and yada, yada, yawn… But because it had been picked up by my midwife and they’d ignored it at a recent consultation, it seemed better to blame the mystery disease….
As far as I’m concerned I don’t have sarcoidosis but that’s not how the medical establishment see it, so when I had a mild eye infection during the pregnancy, I didn’t say anything about the ‘pre-existing medical condition’. I was in the pharmacy when they got a call asking me to come back to the office and when I got in there, the head doctor plus the one I’d just seen were waiting for me, and twenty minutes later, they had me cacking myself that I may be having a flare up again. I hate this.
And this is the problem really. I have a mystery immune system disease (you know I don’t like saying the D word) that has symptoms that get mistaken for more common things…like flu…
I realise I can never just be ‘ill’ – there’s always the possibility that my ‘flu’ is indicative of my immune system deciding to do a nosedive and attack all my good organs… The first time they’ll take me seriously is when I’m near blind and can barely walk or breathe like the last time…
I’ve stopped listening to the news with all the swine flu talk because I’m one of those people with an underlying condition and potentially high risk. There, I said it.
I’m young (ish) – I’ll be thirty feckin two next week but that’s a whole other story – and all this flu stuff and sarcoidosis flare up paranoia has me worrying because I like living and being able bodied for my kids, not having my arse ridden like Zorro by some stupid disease.
I will go for the blood test because at least I can rule it out or tackle it if there is something to worry about, plus when the boyf finds out, he’ll hustle me down to the docs because he won’t want me worrying (and moaning).
Back soon….
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Nat,
Please, please don't apologize for vacuuming the floor. Vacuuming the floor is something normal people do every day . . . uh, month? Well, I read that they vacuum the floor more than once a year, anyway. I think I remember my grandmother vacuumed every week. Or maybe it was just something to keep me busy when I visited. Now I get to work odd hours at the local movie theater, and vacuum the lobby once or twice each shift. If the movies hit just right and I get stuck all the time, maybe even three times in the same day!
So, you don't really have to explain about the doctors and all, just admit it. Stand there in the middle of the room, and state, quietly (you don't want to set the Bambino a bad example!), "I vacuumed the floor today. And it looks OK for now."
Blessed be.
I hate sweeping…I ALWAYS vacuum the floor. Go get your blood checked hun…then you don't have to worry about it anymore. Good luck.
Muah!
Oh geez, Nat — may the blood test come back okay, may your immune system continually strengthen and may your health be well every day.
I'll say affirmations for that.
((hugs)) and thinking of you.
You chose to vacuum and forgo the blood test over the boyf's reaction, when he finds out???
Get yourself down there and put yourself out of your misery. You have been doing great these last few years and you will continue to do well. Forget swine flu and whatever other pandemics they will think about.
You owe it to yourself, boyf and kids to put your mind at rest and if by some yukky fluke 'it' has come back at least you know that we are all here to support you through it. LOL xx
I pray that it is nothing to worry about. Amen.
Vacuuming? Sounds like you need a medicinal eclair…
Brad K – You do make me giggle! I think I am have caught some sort of domestication illness
Vixen – I know you have been through the mill so you know exactly what it's like. Me no likey sweeping either
Blood tests done though x
Loving Annie – Thank you! I shall email you later! x
b – Thanks for the boot up the bum! I did the test this morning and will get results in a few days. Boyf was non too pleased which gave me a reality check on my silliness!
Stephen – Hello stranger! Thank you
Kat – Oh I've had that too!
Glad you had the blood tests done in the end – they're no fun AT ALL are they? I always feel like a pincushion afterwards! But hey, kind of necessary. Immune system, schimmune system – sure it'll be fine. As is hoovering the floor! Who wants to sweep and mop anyway, hey??
stay strong babe you be ok